Why Are You In Pain?

A Journey Beyond Symptom Management

The 7 R’s Of Restoration

Security is found in responsibility
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There are many people worldwide that suffer from some form of pain. Most people spend so much time wading in the shallow end of the pool of thought life; that they don’t realize that what they are perceiving as pain is only a physical manifestation of a hidden and perhaps greater problem – a lack of responsibility towards the self.

In other words, being in tune with yourself; paying attention to your body and it signals, and just being attentive overall, is a primary first step towards regaining your life and freedom from pain. So what are the 7 R’s?


Before I can actually share what these 7 Responsibilities are, we have to define this. Now, I realize that most people think that they know or understand what being responsible means. I did too.

However, there are people that think that Responsibility is only about “fault” or “blame.” That is why so many people run from responsibility. So to clarify this, here are the definitions from dictionary.com.

  1. the state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management.
  2. an instance of being responsible: The responsibility for this mess is yours!
  3. a particular burden of obligation upon one who is responsible: The responsibilities of authority.
  4. a person or thing for which one is responsible: A child is a responsibility to its parents.
  5. reliability or dependability, especially in meeting debts or payments.

As you can see, number 2 demonstrates “blame,” which is often how this word is utilized, but note that it is referenced as only “an instance.” Number 3 and 4 demonstrate more of an ongoing “burden.” This is the reason most people run from leadership. They don’t understand the principles of service. They only see responsibility.

These three numbers, 2-4 are the main reason why people often avoid responsibility; because they think that life just happens and what they experience, including pain, is outside of their control.

The Difference

However, clearly, both the beginning definition, number 1, and the ending definition, number 5, tell a different story. What’s funny about this, is that it is just like the pattern of most things in life.

You start out with a goal that is well-defined; and with good intentions. And then somewhere on the road towards that great intentioned end goal, you run into trouble. Just like with any situation or circumstance in life; if you do not maintain your focus, pay attention, push through – and stay the course; then you will stay stuck in the middle and never reach that great end goal.

In other words, numbers 1 and 5 in that definition requires you to take control. The mess in the middle happens when you give your power away and play the victim. Responsibility is required to be restored. You have to stay the course, keep your focus, and don’t give up, sometimes in the face of incredible odds.

Here are the 7 Responsibilities that will help you become fully Restored.


No matter what it is you are facing, your first step in breaking free and regaining control over your life or the situation is in recognition. You must be able to see and fully understand who you are, where you are, what the problem is, why it is a problem and how it is happening or manifesting in your life (what is causing it).

Sometimes this means that you can only trust in yourself to find solutions. It also means you have to do some research for yourself to find real answers. Sometimes your solution lies beyond the boundaries of standard reasoning, procedures or treatments and processes.

This means that you have a responsibility towards yourself first. You have to be willing to look outside of conventional norms and answers that are only symptomatic in nature. You may have to do some serious introspection and look within.

Assessment and Acknowledgement

People who say, “Why is this always happening to me?” have failed to fully assess their problems, their lives, and their decisions; and most likely, are not truly seeking answers. This is because they have no understanding of “The Mirror Theory.”

This has to do with your belief systems. People who believe that they are bound to inherit something that has been genetically inherent in their family, have already been defeated by their own thought processes because they don’t recognize the power of a changed mind.

Within Your Grasp

This is why I love that first definition because it states: the fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management.

You aren’t responsible for everyone else’s problems and issues. You are only responsible for yourself. Your current condition or circumstance does not detract from your ability to regain control, because the power has been within you all along. It has grown weak only because you have not recognized nor exercised it.

Recognize your responsibility to yourself, and take your power back.


Most people get severely stuck on this word. They throw up a wall whenever they hear it because unfortunately, there has been and still is a faction within the body of the “church” who has no true understanding of the call of Christ to love.

There are some in church circles who have used that word to beat people over the head, and try to aggressively convince them into complying with scripture. So I understand if that word causes a red flag moment for anyone.

However, this is why I like to put definitions into what I write, because I want to make sure that all of you fully understand my meaning. I like to be as clear as possible to avoid confusion. So let’s look at this word too.

  1. to feel sorry, self-reproachful, or contrite for past conduct; regret or be conscience-stricken about a past action, attitude, etc. (often followed by of): He repented after his thoughtless act.
  2. to feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one’s life for the better; be penitent.
  3. to remember or regard with self-reproach or contrition: to repent one’s injustice to another.
  4. to feel sorry for; regret: to repent an imprudent act.

A Simple Decision

In other words, repent means to change your mind. It means that you have realize that perhaps your past thinking and/or actions based on your previous thought patterns were wrong, or hurtful. You regret any hurt you may have caused and have made a decision to change your thoughts and behavior. Simple, right?

It’s only logical that once you have recognized the error of your past decisions and thoughts, you would want to repent (change your mindset and free it) of those types of thoughts and decisions that may be hurtful to yourself or someone else.

So despite what you may have previously thought, repentance is a power move, because first, it is an expression of regret for something you have come to recognize as being wrong in your thoughts or life. Secondly, it is the pivotal point of change, and change is powerful.


Once you’ve broken free of the old pattern of thinking, you have to renew your mind. You must retrain it. There are many great books out there to help you with self-growth, including the Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth (Bible). There’s a very well-known scripture on Blueletterbible.org that talks about this process.

Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

In other words, don’t get caught up in the distractions of the culture. Renew your mind by feeding both it and your spirit with quality, positive thoughts, and information; so that your life reflects the perfect will of God. Did you know that we were all ordained with dominion – to walk as kings and queens on the earth? Royalty bears responsibility.

What Are You Seeking?

If you do not seek wisdom and understanding; if you are not trying to reach beyond what and who you are in this current moment, you are stagnant. To be stagnant is to be useless and non-functioning. Lack of function causes pain.

It’s time to redirect your path and your life. It’s not over. You’re still breathing. You’re still here. You’re still alive. Life doesn’t have to be merely existing. I know you’ve suffered losses, but it’s not too late. Renew your mind.



Once you have recognized the error of your thoughts, habits, or decisions; repented of them, and renewed your mind; then you must act accordingly. Practice what your new mindset is preaching.

In other words, doing something once does not prove change. That’s merely a reaction. We aren’t here to just react to whatever life throws at us, because reactions are based on the unexpected; and we are trying to chart our course and direct our paths.


A response is an action based on significant thought or reflection. Your decisions, behaviors, and habits must be ongoing and consistent in order to truly reflect the change in you and the outcome you seek.

You must not grow weary of doing what is right. Use the power of renewal to strengthen and encourage yourself.

Pro 3:11 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:

Isa 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

When you start responding to the changes brought about by the renewing of your mind, you are positioning yourself, and blessings will be heading your way. Answers to that which you’ve been seeking will start to unfold in ways in never expected, and a paradigm shift occurs.


Likewise, unexpected chaos is a result of inconsistency and a weariness mindset of defeat, and many people miss their blessings because of this. You have to press on and move forward.

Is everything always going to be smooth sailing? No. There will be times of discomfort, but that is a requirement of the struggle and drive needed to solve the problem.

People have gotten too comfortable; so much so that they lack the wherewithal to fight the good fight and win for their own sake. It is the unfortunate curse of this generation because people have gotten so lazy due to a continual drive towards comfort.

While you are in your comfort zone of “I’ve grown accustomed to this,” or I can’t be bothered, (to make any real effort); the problem you complain about will remain. You have to step outside of your comfort to realize a real change.

Convenience is a curse. It is the bane of this age and culture.

As Barry White said, “Too much of anything is not good for you, baby.”

Convenience causes pain.

However, if you are willing to be inconvenienced on your own behalf, you can regain control over your life, because you are open to receive.


This has been a topic of study at my church; reclaiming what was lost. Getting the life you love. Recommitment to service. Reclaiming your peace. Regaining your strength. Reclaiming deliverance from pain.

You can only reclaim what you want if you have recognized what you lack, why you lack it, how you got into the mindset of lack, who you really are and where you should be; and have repented of your old, “lackluster” mindset. By renewing your mind and responding in your habits accordingly, you then position yourself to receive, and are able to reclaim the life you want; pain free and happy.

So what is left? I did say 7, didn’t I?


So why after all that, would I tell you to remember? What is it that you must remember?

First, and most importantly, you must remember where you came from, because it is not about the end goal, but the journey to get there. So you must keep record of your journey and the milestones of it, and share it with others to encourage them along the same path of change.

Keep a journal or start a blog as a means to testify about how you overcame your struggles and made it through to whatever it is that quantifies as happiness for you.

Consequently I’ve created this entire Cross of Pain network to help you understand pain at as many levels and perspectives as possible. I want to help you to understand and know the most natural options so that you can respond and attack pain the right way and totally conquer it.

My goal is to make this a point of reference that will help you to get the best and most natural results. Thank you for joining me and remember to subscribe.

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