Jingshen Journey

Finding the Path of the Pain Free Spirit

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Desire Is A Connection To Pain

The web of connections to pain

What Links Desire As The Connection To Pain?

It’s like a 5000 piece puzzle. Some people try to put the puzzle together by just putting random pieces together, as opposed to putting together the framework of the puzzle first.

By doing it that way, they don’t get a good vision or picture of the entire puzzle because they cannot really envision a connected whole. This makes the struggle to find the right piece much more difficult. It is the same in the path of life because you are missing the connectedness.

What links desire as the connection to pain? This concept is based on hands-on experience. As a person living with and managing my own pain conditions, as well as being a Holistic Practitioner; I am focused on eliminating pain in myself and others. I know that experiencing pain is a matter of choice and is totally unnecessary.

As I started researching this concept, I found that there were scriptures that supported much of my conclusions. Some of these concepts may seem controversial in the current culture, but it is not included in this or any future posts with the intention to offend.

My purpose is to seek natural sources of information that indicate where there is a connection to pain, and this includes spiritual things. If you read the articles here in their entirety, you will see that judgments are not my agenda, but only exposing the connection to pain from as many real sources as possible.

What Is The Mindset Of Pain?

In light of that, I’m searching for the mindset of pain. While doing so, I stumbled across the word “vacuous.” My immediate thought was about big empty spaces.

While trying to connect that to mindset, I thought about space cadets in the non-literal sense. I wondered if people could be accurately described as being “vacuous.” From the definition I found, I’d say this does fit a lot of people, especially in the age of legalized marijuana.

Vacuous—adjective

  1. without contents; empty: the vacuous air.
  2. lacking in ideas or intelligence: a vacuous mind.
  3. expressing or characterized by a lack of ideas or intelligence; inane; stupid: a vacuous book.
  4. purposeless; idle: a vacuous way of life.

Purposeless Without A Plan

A vacuous way of life is one spent in idleness, catering to every desire and whim you have; ie: “the desires of the flesh.” In my mind, this is mostly about being purposeless.

People without purpose have no hope. Being without hope is a definite cause of and connection to pain. This is why I’m starting to work with my son to make a life plan.

Due to my efforts to complete my business plan, and the type of tough questions I had to think about; I came to realize that whether it is a plan for a business, a project, or life in general, everyone should have a plan.

People, who do not plan their lives; live a vacuous existence, with a connection to pain on a more continual and ongoing basis. They are easily tossed and turned in their life’s journey by every emotional puff of wind that blows their way.

Such people live wasting valuable time, life’s most precious commodity. They live in the past and are stuck there because they haven’t renewed or reprogrammed their minds.

Develop A Vision

Until a few years ago, my life was very vacuous and I had a strong connection to pain. I have since found my calling, and am now in the business of helping as many of you who are in pain as possible.

Now I am more conscious (woke) and try to be more mindful of planning, goals, and achievement than ever before. There’s hope for free spirits after all. You just have to develop a vision.

Escape Tunnel Vision

Tunnel vision – when one is in the dark and sees a pinpoint of light afar off. You may see the light, but you still have to make a choice and take action to move towards it. This requires a renewing of the mind and a whole new train of thought.

People who don’t renew their minds are trapped in darkness, wandering aimlessly. They are hopelessly lost, and never see or truly understanding their connection to pain. The situation won’t change unless they make that choice to walk towards that pinpoint of light; which requires effort.

A vacuous lifestyle happens in your comfort zone and causes you to live in the past. You are never creating your life or your future because you are too comfortable where you are. A vacuous lifestyle gives you a connection to pain because idleness can cause pain.

Likewise, idleness and lack of movement cause muscle lock. This is why I don’t prescribe to the notion that old people are useless. There is a lot of things elderly people can do, even as they age. They just have to keep the focus on what they can do, especially to manage their pain.

Elderly people are a living atlas of knowledge and life experiences; influences that younger people could benefit and grow from. They should be valued as a resource, not cast aside as unworthy and invaluable.

Distractions, Idleness And Misperceptions

Lack of focus can cause you to be caught up in multiple distractions that cater to your every desire. Giving in to your every desire can give you an immediate connection to pain.

Being unfocused can draw you into activities, decision, or lifestyle choices that prove to be harmful. These connections to pain always seem harmless at first. Usually, such misperceptions are the result of failure to think and carefully evaluate all factors.

Jeremiah 17:9 (ESV) The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?
Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

Renew Your Mind

The “heart” referenced here is the mind, because that is the battleground. If you aren’t feeding as well as guarding your “heart,” your “spring of life” could dry up. This is why scripture talks about renewing the mind, and what you should set your mind on to protect it.

Galatians 5:16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Romans 8:6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
Romans 12:1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Forrest Of The Mind

A few years ago, I started reading a book called, Who Shut Off My Brain. Among the things mentioned in this book were brain trees and the amazingly devastating effects of negative thoughts on the forest of your mind.

This is why I’m so focused on the thought life and decisions people make as the number one factor in their pain problems. This is primarily because people resist change.

The Desire For Total Individual Freedom

People want total freedom. That’s fine if you want that, but most people don’t understand that such freedom is not free. There is a cost. The prerequisite is that you have to be able to control all factors of any given situation. ALL FACTORS.

If you cannot do that, then you must abide by boundaries and restrictions that are set in place to protect you. All these “total freedom” loving people who don’t want the government to tell them anything, don’t understand this.

If you cannot control every wind of change in your own life, how can you control what anyone else around you might do, or how they might react to you exercising your “total freedom?”

connection to pain
Resistance is futile.

The Cost Of Breaking Boundaries

What if your freedom of expression or action interferes with theirs? Whose rights and freedoms are to be honored, and who has jurisdiction to judge that?

No matter how anyone slices and dices it, having total individual freedom is a losing game. This foolish ideal and rebellion against boundaries is a direct connection to pain.

You won’t care how your desires affect anyone else, as long as it doesn’t affect you negatively per your perceptions. Your best friend will feel the same way, wanting their own way without repercussions and care for the effect on another.

No two people think exactly alike and feel exactly the same, so someone is bound to be upset or offended. Everyone would want to be without boundaries; so as to exercise their desires. Grown people would be like a bunch of spoiled little 5-year-olds fighting over toys. This is how wars start.

Any time you want to go against boundaries; when you resist the natural order of things; refuse to consider others above yourself, and abort the natural laws and principles placed within the universe and your very DNA; you will connect to pain.

You Must Guard Your Heart

In order to avoid these connections to pain, one must guard their heart. Becoming aware of harmful ideologies and influences is essential because the current culture is full of them. Most of the cultural influences are spiritually, emotionally (soulfully), and physically harmful.

Everyone has to recognize the current influencers that master and control their lives and break free from those ideologies and desires that cause pain.
In order to protect your heart; you must redirect your course away from that which is culturally acceptable and follow the order of the natural laws.

“I’m not saying you have no moral compass. Oh yes, you have a moral compass – you just don’t know where it is.” Rob Brydon in “The Trip To Italy”

1 John 2:17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

By “repenting” or changing one’s mindset, and renewing one’s mind with more spiritually positive information; a person can circumnavigate the connection to pain and change their course or life’s path.

Resources

All scriptural references are from the ESV version from blueletterbible.org


The Secret Man Of Desires

man of desires

Influences

Don’t you just hate it when a great, well-intentioned plan goes awry? Usually, it’s due to the man of desires who has chosen the wrong influences; who fails to understand because he has no insight or foresight. Without focus, you are a lost cause.

The (universal) man of desires can’t see beyond his own nose. He is only concerned with satisfying own selfish desires. Desires are the issue here. Most humans seem to be drawn to things that aren’t beneficial. This is because they have not tamed the secret man within.

Gen 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Everyone was supposed to be blessed. It is our choices based on self-centered desires that monkey up the works.

Creation In Spirit

Once our spirits were created within The Spirit; the mind of God, Himself. The other two parts that make us complete still had to be manifested. The first chapter of Genesis is a generalization of the events, much like an outline of sorts. Chapter 2 starts to fill in more details.

Gen 2: 4 These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens,
5 And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.
6 But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.
7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
8 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

The Man Of Desires – Formed

Here we see a distinct difference between the “creation” of the spirit man and the formation of the physical body of mankind from the dust of the ground. Those are two distinctly different words that most people believe means the exact same thing. Here’s the difference:

Form—noun

1. external appearance of a clearly defined area, as distinguished from color or material; configuration: a triangular form.
2. the shape of a thing or person.
3. a body, especially that of a human being.
4. a dummy having the same measurements as a human body, used for fitting or displaying clothing: a dressmaker’s form.
5. something that gives or determines shape; a mold.
6. a particular condition, character, or mode in which something appears: water in the form of ice.
7. the manner or style of arranging and coordinating parts for a pleasing or effective result, as in literary or musical composition: a unique form for the novel.

A Unique Manifestation

I like this. Our consciousness was created first. Our spirits created within His Spirit. We are both unique in form and also, first and foremost, a work of art; God’s great creation. This is why turning away from that which is natural is so wrong. It’s wrong for us spiritually, and physically.

Once God breathed the breath of life (the conscious spirit/pneuma) into that human form, man became a living soul – a man of desires. That breath of life was the spirits He had already uniquely created.

They may have been in a dormant (asleep) state until this transfer occurred. The formed man became “alive” as a living soul because he gained the (two) spirits from The Great Spirit.

Alive

The formed man became “alive” as a man of desires or living soul because he gained a spirit of life from The Great Spirit. The first level of the word “alive,” happens in this infused manner.

The soul is the seat of desires. So this formed man with a spirit indwelling that connected him directly to God, became a living, breathing, hot-bed of desires. The spirit activated the flesh, but the flesh does not activate the spirit. That requires reconnection and the 7 R’s of Restoration.

man of desires
“The Child is grown. The dream is gone.” Comfortably Numb -Pink Floyd

This earthen man with a soul became alive with a spirit indwelling that connected him directly to God, the Source and Power that had created him. He became a living, breathing, hot-bed of desires without self-knowledge. He didn’t know he was royalty.

This is why when a man and a woman marry, the two become one. They were one in the first place. This was prior to God separating Adam from himself in the making of Eve. The unified image of God, Himself, created and infused into mankind. That is the image of the family. Christ is the seed.

Spiritual Amnesia

The problem was that sin was already in the world ready to tempt him. Here is a man that doesn’t recognize who he is, nor whose he is. He has no idea that he is a king, so he acts like a peasant, a typical man of desires.

The life breathed into him activated the soul. But, the flesh cannot activate spirit. He requires spiritual reactivation so that he is “alive” in the spirit as well; which is the second, and greater of the two levels of life.

He’s got this wireless connection to the Divine, yet he doesn’t seek God out to learn who he is, nor for any guidance. His first desire was not to be alone, but Adam wasn’t alone. God was always with him.

Never Alone

Aside from that, God anticipated his every desire. God provided for him in advance of his own knowledge and acknowledgment of his need. That’s why Eve’s spirit was also within him before the first surgical separation of two beings ever performed. It was God that brought her to him.

Thank God For The Grace Of God

She too was a queen who acted like a peasant; falling victim to her base desires and living only in the realm of her soul. But, despite this, it was the thoughts and decision of her husband; that caused the fall of mankind.

Can you imagine – the Jews had over 600 laws to obey in the Old Testament, yet Adam could not abide by and obey just one rule. This demonstrates why the law is futile and grace is necessary.

Submission is a choice, and certainly, not an easy one for a man of desires, but the rewards are great. This brings me back to the issue of pain. You see, by his thoughts and decision, Adam and all of mankind have suffered. The choice he and his wife made brought pain, suffering, and death into the lives of all mankind.

Resources

All scriptural references come from blueletterbible.org.


The Mirror Theory

the mirror theory

Several years ago, God gave me a Mirror Theory.

“You draw that which you reflect. You reflect that which you are.”

Reflections

Trust me when I tell you that this was a hard pill to swallow. First of all, the first part.

“You draw that which you reflect.”

I immediately began to think about people who have been in my life, especially, the type of men that have run after me; that have abused me in some way, and that have been part of my life. My immediate thought was…YUCK!

The first person that popped up in my mind was my ex-husband. “Oh dear God, was I really that bad?”

I mean think about it. Think about every person that has tried – for whatever reason, to be in your energy field for more than just a fleeting moment. The Mirror Theory makes you think about how they treated you – and what you tolerated from them.

What did their behavior towards you, tell you about them as a person? Now, apply that thought to yourself. After all, you drew them. Awful isn’t it?

A Matter of Fate?

People always wonder why certain things happen to them. When you question this on that level, just remember what I’m telling you now. The Mirror Theory is not going to be a popular discussion.

I mean, who wants to see, let alone believe the worst about themselves? And more importantly, who wants to think for even one minute – that the trouble a certain individual brought into their lives was somehow related to who they are as a person; and is not totally the other person’s fault? Who wants to be told that they brought this trouble or problem upon themselves?

Ooooh! Yeah….no one likes THAT thought.

School of Life

If life is a journey of lessons to be learned….that is one tough subject.

You see, my ex-husband (may he rest in peace) was a habitual liar and very manipulative. So I had to now examine myself to see if I was exuding the same bad traits because, after all, the Mirror Theory tells me that there was something about me that drew him to me. These character traits have nothing to do with outer packaging, other than simply a framework for your presentation of yourself. Ouch.

So at the time that God gave me this…it was like a slap in the face…literally.

And then the second half…

“You reflect that which you are.”

Now mind you, I received this “Mirror Theory,” years ago. I’ve cleaned up my act somewhat since then, but that’s not to say that I’m not still under construction. I’m not perfect, but I’m in the process of being perfected in my spirit. It’s just to say that the quality of the people I draw to me now is considerably better.

Have you checked your reflection?

Under Construction – renovations.

Beholding As In A Glass

2Co 3:18 But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. KJV

This verse has always puzzled me somewhat, so I looked at several versions of this text to get a clearer meaning.

The NLT (New Living Translation) replaces “open face” with “veil removed;” and “beholding as in a glass” with “can see and reflect.”

The NASB (New American Standard Bible) replaces “open face” with “unveiled face” and “beholding as in a glass” with “beholding as in a mirror.”

The RSV (Revised Standard Version) also  replaces “open face” with “unveiled face” and “beholding as in a glass” with just “beholding.”

These were the major differences I saw for this part of this verse.

It’s Not About Vanity

There is a lot of conversations online about this “veil” and references to Moses coming down the mountain, and having to cover his face to prevent the Israelites from seeing that this glory was fading because he was no longer in the continual presence of God.

I really don’t know how logical that is. It sounds rather vain if that was the case. I mean obviously, it was going to fade eventually. It might be more logical to believe that the radiance of the glory on him, was just too bright for human eyes, and that might have been the reason.

They briefly mention it in reference to representing the law as being temporal…and that temporal glory fading away as a greater glory, grace through Jesus Christ is revealed.

Vision

But then I think about this…

1Co 13:12 For now, we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

Darkly:

dark’-li: The word occurs in 1Co 13:12, “For now we see in a mirror, darkly,” in the translation of the words en ainigmati, the Revised Version, margin “in a riddle.” The contrast is with the “face to face” vision of Divine things in eternity. Earth’s best knowledge is partial, obscure, enigmatic, a broken reflection of the complete truth

This is another verse that has had me puzzled for a long time. I could never comprehend what seeing in a mirror “darkly” meant. Is there insufficient light? Is the mirror covered? Why is the vision of this mirror, the mirror itself, or even the vision of oneself in the mirror dark? How does the Mirror Theory apply to this dark mirror?

Sightless

Then, I think about the veil being rent when Christ was crucified. I even think about Lot, whose name means “veil,” and the problem he had with the vision – in his inability to see the better choice when the decision on which way to go came up between him and Abraham.

This seems to be the key with the veils. They represent impaired sight, or vision lacking foresight. There is a lack of discernment attached.

Hindsight

I believe that the law was not given by God to Moses without foresight or discernment. Quite the contrary. It fulfilled its purpose as a foreshadowing of what was coming.

However, God did not present that law with any veil to cover his glory. All he told Moses, was that He could only allow him to see Him from behind because His glory was far greater than Moses’ humanity could behold. (I’ll get back to this word in a minute)

If Moses had to view God from “behind” in order to receive the law; then obviously, something was wrong with his sight. It was as if he had cataracts on his eyes, and even then, God’s glory was too much for him. The cataracts of sin still put him in a place where he could only view that which was behind, and he was unable to experience the fullness of the vision.

But take it a step further, if all he could see what what was behind, what does that reflect? In the Mirror Theory, doesn’t that say that the law is behind as well? As if to say that the law is the reflection of being backwards?

You see, Moses was unable, even with the law in his hands, to see the fullness of God. Likewise, the law does not represent the fullness of God. Grace does.

Nearsighted

And, when Moses presented this same law to the Israelites, he covered his face with a veil. I believe (jmo) it symbolized the fact that the law falls short of the glory of God, which was still on his face. In the Mirror Theory, the covering of the veil shows that it is not a true reflection of God.

What it shows, is that it was temporal; and it shows the lack of discernment and vision of humanity, in that it requires a set of rules to govern it, as opposed to operating with grace, which is in the spirit, and is the true humility of humanity.

In other words, the law that Moses gave with the veil covering his face represented the blindness of the people, that would require the law itself.

Seeing through a glass darkly also represents blindness or impaired vision. If our (spiritual) vision was not impaired by our blind humanity, we could see “through” the mirror to the other side, because after all…it’s supposed to be a reflection. If the mirror was clear, we could see all, and as the verse says, “but then shall I know even as also I am known.”

Discernment

It’s like when Alice went through the looking glass. It was a dimensional portal, but her vision changed prior to her being able to see and move through that portal. Prior to that change, she was seeing through the mirror darkly; ie: only seeing her reflection, but not truly seeing through the mirror into the spiritual realm.

They can see us. We can’t see them. We only now “know in part,” but we don’t know the whole. This is why the world is upside down and everything that is backward is popular. Because our vision is impaired.

However, those of us that are truly in Christ; and not just claiming the name; we are “open-faced.” We are “unveiled.” Why? Because when we accepted Christ, the veil, for us, was rent. Our eyes became opened.

Therefore….

2Co 3:18 So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. NLT

Max Lucado, in God’s Mirror, states it this way…

2Co 3:18 “And we, with our unveiled faces, reflecting like mirrors the brightness of the Lord, all grow brighter and brighter as we are turned into the image that we reflect; This is the work of the Lord, who is Spirit.”

Reflect God’s Glory

Let’s go back to Moses for a minute.

2 Cor 3:7 The old way, with laws etched in stone, led to death, though it began with such glory that the people of Israel could not bear to look at Moses’ face. For his face shone with the glory of God, even though the brightness was already fading away. NLT

First let me say…there’s a hardness to that. The law etched in stone, denotes hardness (of heart – ie: a stone, cold heart); and is, perhaps one of the reasons that the law fails in light of eternity.

Beholding

But with regards to the glory of the Lord that shone on Moses, Max Lucado says…

“The Brightness he saw was the brightness he became. Beholding led to becoming. Becoming led to reflecting.” God’s Mirror

Beholding implies contemplation and refraction; serious pondering. I always wondered what the full implications of that word behold was. I knew it meant to see, but that seems a very light-weight definition for a word just dripping with depth. So naturally, I looked it up.

Synonyms are: regard, gaze upon, view; watch; discern.

Verb (often used in the imperative to draw attention to something, archaic or literary) -holds, -holding, -held
1. to look (at); observe

Verb (used with object), beheld, beholding.
1. to observe; look at; see.

Interjection
1. look; see:

“hold, keep,
“beholden (adj.)
“under obligation, obliged, bound in gratitude,”

Regard

This indicates that to “behold” something is not just to see it, but to look at, or gaze upon it with regard. It involves an obligation to watch (which indicates ongoing observation), and to discern or contemplate what you see; to hold on to, or keep that information close.

Now, back to what originally drew me back to reflection on the Mirror Theory in the first place.

Exo 20:7 “You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold guiltless anyone who takes his name in vain. NET (New English Translation)

So again, I went to Dictionary.com for meanings on the word “vain.”

  1. excessively proud of or concerned about one’s own appearance, qualities, achievements, etc.; conceited: a vain dandy.
  2. proceeding from or showing pride in or concern about one’s appearance, qualities, etc.; resulting from or displaying vanity: He made some vain remarks about his accomplishments.
  3. ineffectual or unsuccessful; futile: vain hopes; a vain effort; a vain war.
  4. without real significance, value, or importance; baseless or worthless: vain pageantry; vain display.
  5. Archaic. senseless or foolish.

The first two definitions reflect the vanity of mankind towards itself. It was the last three definitions that rang true for this verse.

S.O.S.

“We exist to give honor to His name.” Max Lucado, God’s Mirror

The world is sending an SOS. Most people aren’t even conscious that they are sending out this message, but they are reflecting a need to be saved. They want to be saved from the culture, from their pain, from their situations, from their struggles, from…themselves.

The interesting thing is…SOS is in Morse code: 3 short, 3 long, 3 short. Its a call for rescue.

In looking at the word origin, I found out that these letters were chosen as the simplest to transmit and receive in Morse code; by folk etymology, taken to be an abbreviation for save our souls.

Isn’t it funny that the 333 that is used in Morse code for an SOS, also represents Christ. His ministry was 3 years in length, to give his message to the world, and then He died, at 33 years of age.

Ambassadors

2Co 5:20 Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His plea through us. We plead with you on Christ’s behalf, “Be reconciled to God!” NET

“The Ambassador has a singular aim – to Represent his King!” Max Lucado, God’s Mirror

And if the Ambassador properly completes this mission, he is greeted with…

Mat 25:23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ ESV

Are you positioned to receive that message? What are you reflecting?

Resources

http://blueletterbible.org for all scripture verses
http://dictionary.com for definitions.


Forgiving Yourself – Forfeiting Your Pain

Ease ;your subconscious mind - make a peace offering.

I did something years ago that I feel terrible about. I know I’m not a bad person, but it won’t stop attacking my mind. How do I forgive myself?

(This article is edited and republished from a question I answered on a question and answer site. I chose to start with this as my first post in this site because unforgiveness is a major factor in pain.)

Four Issues

There are four issues here, in your question; so I want to address them separately.

  1. The thing you did that you feel terrible about.
  2. Your view of yourself.
  3. The attack on your mind.
  4. Forgiveness.

What You Did That You Feel Terrible About.

Usually, when someone feels terrible about something they did, it is because they recognize the affect, whether indirectly or directly; that their actions have had on others.

So I have to congratulate you, because in the world we currently live in, most people are so selfish and self-centered, that they don’t care about how their actions affect others.

Justification

Most people these days, feel justified in looking out only for themselves, and as far as everyone else is concerned, it’s “Oh, well. That’s their problem, or “ That’s their tough luck.” The fact that you seem to have a conscious and moral compass is praiseworthy, and that alone is worth forgiving yourself.

In reality, I don’t really think what you did is the issue, unless it was something illegal because…

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

The real issue you need to search yourself about is WHY. Why did you do what you did that you probably knew would have a devastating effect on others; and what would motivate you to ignore their feelings and only focus on your own?

Your View Of Yourself.

In spite of that, you said that you know you are not a bad person. The insinuation that comes with that statement, is that only a bad person does bad or hurtful things. Not true.

Romans 3:10 As the Scriptures say: “There is no one who is righteous,
11  no one who is wise or who worships God.
12 All have turned away from God; they have all gone wrong; no one does what is right, not even one.

Psalm 14:1 Fools say to themselves, “There is no God!” They are all corrupt, and they have done terrible things; there is no one who does what is right.
2 The Lord looks down from heaven at us humans to see if there are any who are wise, any who worship him.
3 But they have all gone wrong; they are all equally bad. Not one of them does what is right, not a single one.

Psalm 53:1 Fools say to themselves, “There is no God.” They are all corrupt, and they have done terrible things; there is no one who does what is right.
2 God looks down from heaven at people to see if there are any who are wise, any who worship him.
3 But they have all turned away; they are all equally bad. Not one of them does what is right, not a single one.

Falling Short

The reason that this was stated in 3 separate scriptures was to emphasize the point that man’s righteousness is nothing. It’s foolishness, self-righteous and worthless.

Therefore, all of us fall short. All of us mess up, and hopefully, all of us learn from our mistakes and move on, forward and upward. Beating yourself up over it is a total waste of time.

forgiving yourself

What Can You Do?

What you should be doing is asking yourself if there is something you can do to change the situation for the better. Perhaps forgiving yourself will require a heartfelt letter of apology, explaining whatever madness possessed you at the time when you put yourself above someone else to their detriment.

It’s not wrong to put yourself first, as long as you are considering others. It is only wrong if it is motivated by selfishness and greed. You may have been responding to an old trigger from your past; in which case, I suggest meditation so you can retrain your subconscious mind into forgiving yourself and living in the present with the future in focus.

In other words, try to find some way to give back, even if it’s not to the person(s) affected by your former actions. Sometimes when people are offended, they are not open to any form of communication from the offender, even if it is helpful and loving. You can’t control their reaction, but you can control your actions by finding opportunities to give back.

The Attack On Your Subconscious Mind.

The attack comes from the enemy of man, who is well versed on your triggers. He knows your past so it is easy to click the virtual computer of your mind into opening up an old wound or memory that triggers a certain response.

How You Can Fight Back

This is why meditation, a form of prayer is so important and valuable. It allows you to reprogram your subconscious mind, which is the dominant force behind all of your actions.

Whether you realize it or not, your subconscious mind runs the show. Over 80% of our mind’s functions are originating in our subconscious mind, which dictates to our conscious mind – where we think we have control.

In other words, the conscious mind is where we think we are really in charge. It’s a deception.

Take Control

Our subconscious mind, if left unchecked and to its own devices, will keep you from forgiving yourself and living in the past. It does this to everyone.

It operates as a stereo system on repeat; running the same tracks and keeping the programme disks of our childhood playing over and over until you change the disk. You can do this by programming your own message disks with whatever you choose, including forgiving yourself.

To clarify, the subconscious mind is like an old library card catalog that has a record of everything. It houses all (the old, negative) memories, and learned patterns and behaviors of our past experiences or upbringing (programming) and pulls them out at the first opportunity to hinder our progress towards our dreams or highest aspirations.

If anyone recalls, an old system like that does not update. So the library had to spend countless hours to reorganize their information into the new system (of thinking) and update it.

Confront The Situation

Likewise, that information is never 100% accurate. The stories in those memories are constantly being altered by filters based on our changing beliefs.

We may hold an idea about a situation from our perception of what happened, and that perception could be completely opposite of the way someone else involved may see it. And remember, our perceptions about something are always affected by the age and mindset in which we observed it.

That is why it isn’t always accurate. Our perspective doesn’t match actual reality. It’s totally one-sided. It’s just the view from our individual corner of the world, our personal reality; and does not encompass all factors and participants’ perspective of an incident or situation.

Therefore, it behooves us to confront both ourselves, and the situation or person we think we have offended. That is why we have to know our Why.

You cannot get about the business of forgiving yourself until you understand this. Once you understand that, you can deal with the real and hidden issue that caused a self-centered reaction as opposed to a well thought out response.

That is to say, this is is why you must choose to take control, and not allow your subconscious to run amuck. We have to tell our subconscious what we choose to believe. By doing so, you eliminate what others have taught you to believe. You control all of this through meditation.

Forgiving Yourself

In summary, you may have to meditate to just to forgive yourself, because that is the first thing you must do to deal with the situation. When you fail to do so, you allow that hurt to emotionally lock in your mind, which then manifests as pain in your body in some form.

So remember what I said about finding a way to give back? Well the first person you must demonstrate that kindness to is yourself. The key to understanding forgiveness is that you “Give for.” The active word is reversed.

Reverse The Curse

Therefore, you give for the purpose of freeing and blessing yourself first, and then others. There is power in giving, thus there is power in forgiving. Both allows the cheerful giver to receive and be bountifully blessed in return, and amplifies their ability to be a blessing to others.

It frees all parties from the hurt of the situation, and allows the opportunity to start over. And we all need a second chance, right? In fact, according to the scriptures above…several second chances.

In conclusion, mistakes are life’s lessons meant to educate us, so that we can do better and be better. Not perfect, mind you, but better. Give yourself a break. Forgive yourself, and don’t be afraid to ask for the same.

Resources

http://blueletterbible.org for all scripture verses



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